It struck.  With a vengeance and in a way that could rival a team of Navy SEALS.  Womanhood arrived at my home this weekend.  My oldest biologically started her trip into womanhood.  My wife and I arrived home from picking up a few things on Saturday.  We were met in the driveway with her running out yelling, “Where are the pads? Where are the pads?”  Kinda like Tattoo from Fantasy Island when he spotted the plane, but much more frantic and beside herself.

Embarrassment soon set in also.  I think it was, “OMG, my dad is here when this happens!”  For the record, I’ve seen 90% of all bad things biologically and medically you can imagine.  Exposed bones, burned tissue, car accidents-a friend in her Jetta in high school met an unfriendly pole, broken bones that make appendages look like road sign arrows, I shot my eye out, broken a toe, seen athletes with all ailments, had to carry pads and tampons in my athletic trainers kit in high school, people shot and seen someone die.  I’ve been puked on, bloodied, shit on by my kids and dogs, along with other things.  So, my 12 year old running out and screaming she had started her menstrual cycle was another day in the nutty world of a stay at home daddy.

Then I went to the store last night and picked up some more “product” as I call it because she covers her ears at the words pads and tampons.  And truth be told, product makes it sound like I’m a mob guy and makes me feel cool.  I also freaked her out I think by telling her the first time she forgot to clean up in the bathroom, she’d find it on her pillow.  Nope, I’m not kidding.  I grew up with an older sister who somehow forgot you had to flush a toilet during your time of the month and to wrap stuff up tightly in the trash receptacle.

With this new arrival came a little cramping.  No bloating, but heavy on the extra dose of drama and hunger.  Last night she ate more than I’ve seen her eat in weeks.  And was still hungry.  Actually, since mid-day Saturday she’s been like that.  But she did have an upswing in moodiness today.  She cried of being told to pickup popcorn off the floor.  Yes, I am serious.

But, the serious side of it now is that I have more worries about things in life.  Kids making fun should something happen at school and cause a problem.  Extra mood swings that were already present given her behavioral issues.  Her inability to truly respect this life change for what it is and not want to understand the ins/outs/hows/why of making sure she takes care of herself.

And when I try to bring up important key facts/factors that I know of, she blows me off.  But I am not alone in that, she does it to her mom too.  Then I told her I was going to need to tell the nurse because believe it or not, girls do lie about that to get out of class and school.  I watched in high school and middle school both and listened to girls laugh about stupid the nurse and teachers were.  They’d fake horrible cramps to skip a test.  My kid thought I was kidding.  I emailed the nurse.  She’s old school.  Her response: We tell the girls it’s part of life, we have supplies, you will be fine and go back to class.

Well, I guess it is just another spoke in the wheel of life.  Life is becoming more and more interesting as I get older.  I buy bras, I buy pads and tampons and lipstick and mascara and clothes.  It used to be books, snugglies from Build-A-Bear and Disney Princess toys. A water gun or a bucket of bubbles or sidewalk chalk got me hugs and kisses.  Luckily I still have that with the middle child and toys and books for my son.  I knew the time would come, just not on a rainy Saturday afternoon, 2 months after her 12th birthday and a month before summer camp starts.

And yes, for the record, when she asked the question as her mom and I sat in the driveway having just pulled in, I sat still for 3-5 minutes.  I didn’t speak.  Then I cried and said I hate May.  Some much of my life as it pertains to good things and innocence has disappeared and died in May.  This just added to it.  I cried and was numb.  There isn’t or wasn’t anything I could do.  Life goes on.

I LOVE MY WIFE AND I LOVE MY KIDS!!

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