Lately things haven’t been going the way that the universe should have them going in my opinion. There’s been a car wreck, my oldest has been diagnosed with 4 different mental disorders of varying degrees, my wife has been ill for so long that I’ve run out of steam mentally. I’m starting to snap at people. Like a dog backed into a corner. I have constant worry.
About my wife first and foremost. Sickness is a bitch. No matter what level. Trust me. I know. On too many levels. From a cough to death. Been there and own a plot at the corner of Illness Drive and Death Street. Not knowing what’s wrong, that’s even worse. So, with her, it’s been a roller coaster. Sick, well, sick, sick, well for a bit or so we think, then sick. I keep praying and hitting my knees. I’ve got a faith problem that I believe is recurring. That isn’t good.
Then with my oldest, we knew some stuff. I felt other things too. However, with mental illness, you never know. Kinda like that whole “life’s like a box of chocolates”? Yep. That is what I’ve got with her. Never know who is going to show up to the party. She gets part of that from me, I know that. Short-tempered, ill as a hornet at times. Short to take people’s shit. But then on some days, I just wonder, what the hell did I do wrong?
Then with the littlest guy. He’s a pistol. He doesn’t know behave if he met it on the street. AT all. I take that back. Some days he can behave. Other days, the majority, he is all over the place. And by behave, I mean doing everything he is told not to do. Generally acceptable behavior for a kid his age. Problem is, I didn’t have this issue with the middle child.
She just turned 4. Somewhere she skipped all of this crap. She is pleasant, loving, caring, easy going, quick to forgive-dog eats her toys. Then there’s the dog. She eats toys at a rate I cannot replace. WTF is wrong with her? I don’t know. I bought a big rawhide the other day to help squash that. It was gone in 25 minutes flat.
Then today I get word from my insurance company that technically I’ve been rated wrong all along since policy inception. You know, after we filled out paperwork, double-verified it, etc. Then through renewal, etc. But Jesus knows, the wreck I mentioned above happens and oh Lord, we MUST revisit everything. Somehow, since it was them who screwed it up in the first place, I don’t feel bad. And I shouldn’t. But I am pissed. No, it isn’t going to cost me a cent and yes, it has cost them money they’ve lost out on for a while. Incompetent much?
I don’t know. I just feel like things are not going in the right direction. At all.