Lately things haven’t been going the way that the universe should have them going in my opinion.  There’s been a car wreck, my oldest has been diagnosed with 4 different mental disorders of varying degrees, my wife has been ill for so long that I’ve run out of steam mentally.  I’m starting to snap at people.  Like a dog backed into a corner.  I have constant worry.

About my wife first and foremost.  Sickness is a bitch.  No matter what level.  Trust me.  I know.  On too many levels.  From a cough to death.  Been there and own a plot at the corner of Illness Drive and Death Street.  Not knowing what’s wrong, that’s even worse.  So, with her, it’s been a roller coaster.  Sick, well, sick, sick, well for a bit or so we think, then sick.  I keep praying and hitting my knees.  I’ve got a faith problem that I believe is recurring.  That isn’t good.

Then with my oldest, we knew some stuff.  I felt other things too.  However, with mental illness, you never know.  Kinda like that whole “life’s like a box of chocolates”?  Yep.  That is what I’ve got with her.  Never know who is going to show up to the party.  She gets part of that from me, I know that.  Short-tempered, ill as a hornet at times.  Short to take people’s shit.  But then on some days, I just wonder, what the hell did I do wrong?

Then with the littlest guy.  He’s a pistol.  He doesn’t know behave if he met it on the street.  AT all.  I take that back.  Some days he can behave.  Other days, the majority, he is all over the place.  And by behave, I mean doing everything he is told not to do.  Generally acceptable behavior for a kid his age.  Problem is, I didn’t have this issue with the middle child.

She just turned 4.  Somewhere she skipped all of this crap.  She is pleasant, loving, caring, easy going, quick to forgive-dog eats her toys.  Then there’s the dog.  She eats toys at a rate I cannot replace.  WTF is wrong with her?  I don’t know.  I bought a big rawhide the other day to help squash that.  It was gone in 25 minutes flat.

Then today I get word from my insurance company that technically I’ve been rated wrong all along since policy inception.  You know, after we filled out paperwork, double-verified it, etc.  Then through renewal, etc.  But Jesus knows, the wreck I mentioned above happens and oh Lord, we MUST revisit everything.  Somehow, since it was them who screwed it up in the first place, I don’t feel bad.  And I shouldn’t.  But I am pissed.  No, it isn’t going to cost me a cent and yes, it has cost them money they’ve lost out on for a while.  Incompetent much?

I don’t know. I just feel like things are not going in the right direction.  At all.

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