, , , , , , , ,

Lately, I’ve had enough of stress, pain, irritability, etc.  I know and I keep telling myself that there are others much worse off.  I see it in the news and read about it. I just wonder sometimes though, when are some of the bad news/issues/situations in my daily life going to get better?

I think back to late 1988 and early 1989.  My father walked out on my dying mom and me, I lost my left eye in an accident and then I lost my mom to cancer.  That is about the lowest I thought life could get.  Fast forward 10 years after that and I was happily married, but unemployed.  That was bad.  Next the first baby came and she was in the NICU for the first 5 days of her life, making us fear the worst.  Then a few years later I spent almost a month in a hospital bed, 8 more weeks after that at home.  Then divorced, three more surgeries, another 12 months out of work for illness, and bankrupt a couple of times.  Currently in a bankruptcy now.

I feel like I just want to scream.  No good as I’ve tried that before.  I have tried exercise, running, beating golf balls, chopping wood, hitting trees, and pounding softballs with a bat.  Nothing works to relieve stress.  Health issues, kids, finances, and more.  Yet, I realize that there are people right now leaving their homes in Syria and other places in the world just looking for a place to live; safely with their children and spouses and extended family.

Some days, like the past few months, it just feels as if it is all raining and pouring down on our heads.  All of us.  Kids, me, the wife.  Even the damn dog cannot get a flipping break.  As I write this, I literally have tears in my eyes.  Things are tough right now.  Very tough.  But alas, I have to remember to not give up.  Somehow I must plug on.