That’s how long I have left to live in my bubble. 8 days. On the 8th day, the world as I know it will end. I’ve said that many times. I don’t know why I say it about certain things, however, I do it. Times change. The world changes. It is inevitable.
Why? I don’t know. God planned it that way. That we have to let go of the past to move on to the future. We must finish the last chapter before we can start the new one. However, I find myself going back over the last chapter to try to pick up points I’ve missed. Not good, I know. But it’s the way I live. Always searching. Never accepting the status quo…for some stuff. Other stuff, yes please, leave it the hell alone. Like little kids.
That’s what is changing in 8 days. My oldest is starting junior high/middle school. I cannot fathom this. For whatever reason, I cannot wrap my head around it. Middle what? Junior huh? Perhaps if it had not coincided with a certain age milestone of my own this year I would not have really noticed it. Oh forget that, yes I would have.
I’ve tried my damnedest for 11 years to protect and hold onto what I’ve got in this oldest child. Some days I win, other days I lose. And losing in this particular part of life sucks. First it was the clothes. Then shoes, and hair. Now facial products. No more of those little shirts with Disney characters or fuzzy/shiny animals. No more character shoes or neat little sandals. No more ribbons or bows in the hair that now uses more products than I can name. No more daddy. Now I am dad. No -dy. UGH.
In about a month I’ve got her first dance to deal with too. Too much too fast of anything is not good for the soul. It overtakes us and we cannot breathe or swim or make it through it. I’ve been an emotional mess on day one of school since well, day one. Whether that was day one of daycare, or day one of kindergarten up through now. I think part of it is that it is no longer elementary school. Meaning that all of the little things in life that are “elementary” are gone. Or stored away.
It’s tough to let go. Trust me. Been there, done that, have the scars/awards to show for it. However, I must soldier on and try to stand tall. I should’ve listened to Mr. Cooke many years ago….