Recently I have been on a quest. A quest to find out more about or I guess to fill in a piece of a puzzle about someone. To say it has been interesting is putting it mildly. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought some of what I have learned would be true. On the flip side, some of it I truly had my feelings and thoughts about, and they were confirmed.
When you go on a quest or a mission, you are looking for answers. For clarity, for a sign perhaps. Sometimes the signs you find are subtle and little hints. Other times you get whacked right in the face.
When I first thought about this piece of my puzzle, I was worried. Worried what I might uncover and find. Worried further than looking into it would bring about shame, disgust, ill-feelings, misunderstandings and the like.
What I have encountered has been the opposite. But I have learned some things that in all honesty are horrible. They are callous and cold. But I remind myself of what I was investigating. I told myself going into this, it may not be the best thing to do.
History can be studied and looked at. In some instances we should try to learn from it. For those who say we are doomed to repeat ourselves if we don’t make changes, I say history does not repeat itself. In some way, each thing that happens is new in some fashion. If for nothing else, it isn’t the exact same time the first thing happened.
I am continuing to study this puzzle piece. To see the intricate details. And I am determined to learn more. I am intrigued thus far. And parts of me still feel hollow about this. So, I must carry on and learn more.