We all have been there, or here as it is. A crossroads of not knowing what to do. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I have a nine year old who has taken it upon herself to be a true arse. Not a little butt, but an arse. The school reports that she has been a bully, she can’t get along with neighborhood kids, her mom and now me. She thinks talking back is acceptable all the time. Acting like a brat is permissible. And now bullying.
Her mom and I both were bullied in school. Face it, plush kids are a big target for bullies. No pun intended. We just are targets even now in life. Not to mention, my dad told me I embarrassed him because I was fat. So, having our kid turn into what we hated is not cool. Not at all. Her conduct has hit rock bottom! Like bottom feeder bad. Perhaps a big part of it is she sees how negative I am at times. I’m no Johnny Sunshine. Life is hard and sucks at time. I don’t candy coat anything. Not a single thing. I’m sure she sees that and acts on it.
Each morning her and her mom get into it. Each night they get into it. I walk a line that is so thin around them, my fat arse is going to fall off. Siding with one or the other condemns me to hell. Not siding likewise. Being caught in the midst is not fun. I know, I should just be the parent. Not listen to my kid etc. when it comes to stuff like this. However, grow up in my father’s house and you realize why I try hard to let my kids speak. I couldn’t or rather wasn’t allowed to. Neither was my next oldest sibling. NEVER. To the point those two had fists thrown, brother jumped out a second floor window and left. He also left four days after high school graduation for the Navy. That’s why I want ALL my kids to be heard.
But, there is a point where that needs to come to a halt and Abby doesn’t realize that. I just don’t believe she realizes it at all. She has to stop her actions or there will be graver consequences in life later on. Being able to be heard is very important. But not at the expense of your family’s happiness and civility.
So, what do we do? I don’t know. Yet another parenting conundrum that I can’t solve and feel helpless. There’s a lot of that lately. Helplessness is abundant and on my mind. Whether it is with Abby, the family budget, my wife, and a host of other stuff. Feeling like each situation is like someone handed you a grenade after pulling the pin stinks! But, it’s gonna get better. It has to!
I love my kids and I love my wife!